As my favorite local beer festival approaches, I’ve been having conversations with some beer-centric friends about what it’s like for everyone at a beer festival: the ticket holders, the vendors, the distributors, the brewers…you name it. Beer has gotten so big that there are no longer the few large beer festivals every few months; it seems like every single weekend there is a killer beer festival within driving distance. What a time to be alive! That having been said, I thought I’d go over a few of my musings about things you should and shouldn’t be doing to ensure you have a great time and don’t have people muttering “Oh shit, I remember this guy from last year.”
Come Prepared To Drink A Lot Of Alcohol
Beer is an alcoholic beverage (you would think that goes without saying…alas, no). Some beers have relatively small amounts, others can stand toe-to-toe with Maderia. While you don’t have to stay for the entire event, beer festivals typically last for hours and there are typically enough beers there for everyone to sample all of them in the allotted time, although I personally don’t feel that should be your goal. Make sure that when you arrive, you’ve had a decent meal in the last few hours and are well-hydrated. Find out beforehand if there will be free water available; I can’t imagine going to a beer or wine festival that wouldn’t provide that service, and inquire about the possibility of food for purchase while you’re there. Make sure you bring some cash for food (and beer-related impulse buys) in case some of the vendors don’t accept credit cards. Don’t fault them for this; those swipe fees are killer.
You know those kooky pretzel necklaces you’ve seen draped over so many people’s shoulders at these events? Those will save you, trust me. In my early festival days, I scoffed at wearing carbs around my neck like I just got to port fresh off some Dive Bar cruise. But after hours of constantly dousing my lethargic metabolism with small shots of alcohol, I felt like someone had beaten me with a phone book. As soon as I started bringing my own necklaces, my experiences were much more positive, as chewing absent-mindedly on pretzels the whole time helped to dilute and metabolize all the brew I was throwing back. And far be it from me to step on anyone’s creativity, but a necklace of straightforward pretzels work wonders on its own. Sure, you can start stringing bagels, candy bars, beef jerky, pizza slices and Baked Alaska on your necklace, but if you start mixing carbs with crazy sugars, or when you gorge on your entire necklace because your blood sugar is off, two things will happen: You’ll be too full to indulge in the field of liquid bread before you, and…nap time!
Most importantly, pace yourself! You have plenty of time and there are a lot of beers there. If you don’t get to try all the beers that you had bookmarked it’s not the end of the world, and you now have a valid excuse for going to that beer festival you were eyeballing two weeks from today! Listen to your body; it’s whispering (and eventually screaming) all kinds of information at you. Don’t drink hard and fast, take your time and enjoy the beers you’re poured. Make sure you’re drinking water (or Mich Ultra) regularly, and grab a bite to eat from one of the vendors from time to time. You want to make a day of this, not a Power Hour.
Be Respectful Of Other Festival-Goers
Long lines, large crowds and unpredictable weather are just a few of the things that you have to endure at almost any type of festival, but they’re all worth it, aren’t they? One of the biggest pet peeves of people on both sides of the table at a beer festival is the person who gets their sample of beer…and then stands there.
“So, can you tell me what your inspiration was to brew this?”
“You know, there’s a brewery near me back home in Grand Rapids/Tampa/Portland and they make a…”
“I know you only have the two barrel brewhouse in Key Largo, but how long before you think you’ll be distributing to Sacremento?”
At most beer festivals, the beer is being poured by volunteers. And volunteers are hard to come by. As a result, they may not know much about the beer they’re pouring. Or beer in general. And that’s okay; I’d rather have someone reliably pour my APA in 2oz samples and reciting the blurb of info they were given with parrot-like accuracy than some Monday-morning quarterback topping off every glass put before them while criticizing my beer for “obviously not properly treating their de-ionized water at mash-in and would have gotten better Myrcene utility if they’d used HBC 682 for the first bittering instead of Galena.” Trust me, you’d rather have the volunteer who’s just happy to be volunteering.
With all of this in mind, it’s doubtful that you’ll come face-to-face with the brewmaster while getting your beer. Not impossible, but not typical. Brewers are at beer festivals for a number of reasons, and while hearing your feedback is important to us, we’re also here to mingle, try other breweries’ beers, talk with colleagues and enjoy not being covered in chemicals and necrotic yeast. So when you que through the room and get to a table, choose your beer, say thank you and please move a few steps away to enjoy it so that everyone standing in line behind you can do the same.
Once you have a few hours of sampling behind you, take a moment and perform a quick self-assessment. Are your pants soaking wet? Is everyone around you staring? Are your arms suspiciously behind your back and there are cold, metallic rings around your wrists? You may be drunk! And while festival volunteers, security and coordinators are encouraged to watch for signs of intoxication and take the necessary precautions, it may be difficult with hundreds or even thousands of people drinking to prevent intoxicated behavior. So we all need to take responsibility for our actions and realize that this is a large social gathering meant for enjoying beer, not a kegger at the end of Rush.
Be Respectful Of The Brewers And Their Beers
As I stated earlier, hearing your feedback is important to brewers. And while we’d love to hear all positive things, we’re also realistic and want real feedback. That being said, make sure you’re listening to yourself when you’re giving your critique. Telling a brewer or another festival attendant that Brewery X’s beer “sucks” or “is just trying and failing miserably to be Heady Topper” is just pure negativity. On the other hand, saying something like “This wheat ale is really nice; I’d drink it all day at the lake/beach/job interview. Just a thought: BRU-1 is an experimental hop that I’ve had success with dry-hopping. A one-off of this ale with a hop that gives off stone-fruit aromas would be killer!” That’s the kind of thing we like hearing. And don’t forget, not everyone will engage in an hour-long conversation about it and some may seem a little squeamish about changing something they’ve put a lot of work into, but that’s okay! You were a good beer drinker, supportive and creative. Well done! Now move along.
If you are a home brewer at a beer festival, there are most likely other home brewers there who would love to talk shop. But sometimes people just want to hang out and enjoy the social setting and all the beer! If you run into a professional brewer or homebrewer and think “Now’s the time to find out why my Generation 17 DIPA strain keeps stalling!” you may be pushing something onto someone who doesn’t have a clue as to why due to the myriad of variables present in your brewing setup. Do yourself a favor and check the homebrew forums. If you aren’t on one, it’s going to be a long, hard, uphill voyage.
Let others form their own opinions of the beers. I remember seeing a guy run into a friend at a cask ale festival this winter and Friend A asked “Have you tried Brewery X’s Sour Cherry S’More’s Pilsner? That’s at the top of my list and I’m headed there now!” To which the Friend B responded “Yeah, don’t bother. I don’t think it’s a good example of the style.” All the air went out of Friend A, and when he finally (if at all) wrapped his lips around the tragically aforementioned pils, he had probably already formed a negative opinion of the beer despite its horrifically unappetizing name (Oh by the way, names of the beers have been changed to protect the breweries’ identities). So let people make their own mistakes or revelations and be a good friend when doing so. Say “You should definitely try that one and let me know what you think,” even if that suggestion is about as helpful as “Smell my finger.”
Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone
This one is incredibly important. If you go to a beer festival outside of your city/state/region/time zone, you may be able to try beers that aren’t distributed in your area. That means that this may be one of the only chances you’ll ever have to drink this beer. So drink it! This isn’t the time to drink the same beer you love but can get any time you want; this is the time to try beers from breweries you’ve never even heard of.
While we’re at it, it’s also important to try styles you don’t normally drink. If there’s one brewery in your area and you don’t care for their Double Fudge Gueuze, but that’s the first you’ve ever tried so you’ve sworn off the style, there may be a brewery that makes a gueuze that isn’t quite so cringe-worthy. There are thousands of breweries making tens of thousands of variations of a few dozen styles. Surely some are hits when others have missed. Try a smoked porter, a kölsch, two dry-hopped sours and every wine barrel-aged beer you find. It may open your mind and your palate to a world you never knew existed!
Finally, if there are classes or lectures available to you, try your best to attend at least one of them. There are classes on new technology, shifts in brewing styles, beer history, important info involving hops and grain, pairing beer with cheese and other foods, gastronomy…the list goes on. You might learn some valuable information that you take with you whether you’re a homebrewer aspiring to open a brewery or a beer novice looking to up your Beer IQ. Giving yourself a quick break from mingling from beer to beer in order to expand your mind can’t hurt. And most of these classes will give you beer to drink, anyway! Win-win!
So that’s my finger-wagging and high-fiving two cents on attending a beer festival. If you like beer, you should make it a point to go to a one; it’s exactly what it sounds like. Fun. Social. Educational. Sometimes unrecallable. But go nonetheless, and remember to be responsible and enjoy the moment!